Artemis Fowl Encounters The Umbrella Academy
by ArtemisMinerva
Summary: A mainly Artemis Fowl based Fan Fiction that helps explain some of the quirks in my favorited comic The Umbrella Academy.
1. Chapter 1

By: KeykoArtemisMinerva (She does not own anything. If she did Arty would have fallen for a girl named Minerva and The Horror would not have met an untimely end in The Umbrella Academy.)

Dearest World…

I hate you. But I love you all the same! Also, I am a Bipolar genius with an I.Q. of at least 173, so on occasion you will witness my two halves blossom and wither through out my work. You, my biggest fans and harshest critics, Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction readers, are my source of inspiration for all things. But, I was wondering the aisles of my regional book store, bored as the next AF comes out in Summer 2010 and as I have read all in the series and have memorized the first, I picked up an exquisite graphic novel. (So it was my idea, losers.) This was The Umbrella Academy, an alternative comic book filled with time paradoxes, violence, and a mysterious birth of 53 super powered children. In all my reading it has only mentioned the few in the Umbrella Academy itself. I then pondered the existence of the others unmentioned and the distinct look and genius that the character No.5 shares with Artemis. Noting the lack of many successful and/or completed crossovers it decided to take a crack at one. Here we go!

P.S. I'm a A/M fan. Deal with it. I also take constructive criticism!

P.S.S This may also be posted on other websites but it is most likely done by me. Do not copy please!

**Chapter 1**

"**You see therapist, me and my stupid genius boyfriend just saw a president get assassinated… What do you think I should do about the relationship? Why are you looking at me like that?" **

"This is too much of a coincidence," thought Artemis, "Minerva are you receiving the same data on your end?" Through the static caused by the tapes digital enhancement he witnessed it, President J.F.K. had been assassinated by no bullet. There was nothing but a girl that had a different facial structure than Mrs. Kennedy whispering, the next moment, utter horror. "Yes Artemis, but I'd rather not…" replied Minerva in a weak shudder. Artemis still in partial shock glanced back at the speaker phone, "Thank you for the help, you can shut down the program now. This is a most appalling and unpleasant thing for one to watch." The sound of a button depressed in a rushed fashion could be heard through the headset, "I think I'll work on my nature film now Arty. Yes, many birds and baby deer can block out that emotionally scarring event." Turning away from his own HD Hargreeves screen in a black leather office chair he replied head resting on his hand, "I'm sorry you had to see that. But I am on to an extraordinarily important lead. You don't want to hear my voice right now I suppose. I'm going to break off connection alright?" With that the sound of a phone crashing into it's base echoed around the Fowl office, followed by a dial tone. Was this historical finding worth the fury of a girl genius scorned? By god I hope so, thought Artemis. I've seen this mystery hit-woman's face before, he turned to a recent newspaper. The Umbrella Academy Stops Apocalypse! was the front page headline underneath it a picture. "There!" he cried in realization, "The Rumor!" This so called super heroine had the power to achieve any thing by voicing it aloud. Through the new images Artemis read her lips, "Mr. President... I heard a rumor that the back of your head is about to explode." Should I expose possibly the most lethal and dangerous fighting force in the world for what one of them may have done out of good, evil, or whim? Also, why is she the same age then as she appears now? But he never had the chance to ponder these questions any further…


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Readers,

If you are pondering the ages of The Umbrella Academy (30's) in collaboration with the Artemis Fowl series (In this Fan Fiction late teen's) do not fret. In Chapter 3 all will be explained in a confusing mish-mash of stormy intelligent and time paradoxical dialog, with a slight chance of occasional showers of idiotic out bursts. Enjoy the true arrival of TUA characters!

P.S. I appreciate your reviews darlings…

**Chapter 2**

"**Well this isn't the first time hulking supernatural's have entered my house so, no, it wasn't really all that surprising…"**

*Knock, knock* He was snapped out of his deep thought by the thud upon his study door, still dazed from seeing the J.F.K. incident his head was still rushing, still supported by both his hands. Almost subconsciously he replied, "Come in." "Artemis," said Juliet pushing her head through a crack in the doorway, "you have some guests here to receive you. And considering they look very dangerous, extremely deadly, and even more urgent, I think the girl at the front door may have mesmerized me into letting them in." Surprised, he quickly turned, stood, and examined her eyes with his ever handy mini-flashlight, "No jagged edges or dilated pupils here. You've not been mesmerized, but what did they say exactly?" Wringing her hands and taking a deep breath Juliet began, "Like this little boy in a school coat started requesting to enter and all I could say was like, how the crud did you people get past the security system, and why did I answer the doorbell you know? I was about to slam the door on them and raise the alarms, but then this lady next to him stepped in, (Rude!), and was all like 'Juliet, I heard a rumor you will let us in as long as we won't hurt anyone inside.' Then bam! Next thing I know I'm climbing up the staircase coming to tell you they're waiting for you in the other room. Man, Butler's going to kill me if I'm not already dead!" Note to self, thought Artemis, remind Juliet to shorten her reports on possible assassins to a maximum 15 seconds. Checking the security cameras in the foyer Artemis smirked to himself, "They have impeccable timing to say the least. I'll meet with them, prepare the lounge, I have a feeling these talks may take awhile. Also, inform Butler of the arrival of the Umbrella Academy at our doorstep, not as a danger but as an omen of possibilities to come." Artemis started back toward his desk. "Okay then…", Juliet said to no one in particular. This was the kind of talk that always sent shivers down Juliet's spine. Walking down the grand staircase she didn't like the atmosphere this whole situation was putting out, this was just like the beginning of that one action movie where at least half the characters are crazy and/or get critically injured. Maybe even worse than the whole fairy incident. Why did Butler have to go on vacation with the Fowls now? Artemis himself was busy encrypting his video files, he didn't think this group needed anymore prodding to turn it into an accusatory fright fest. Walking down the hall he stopped halfway down the stairs, "Hmm…", was all he could word without relinquishing his mask of polite calm. He reviewed his small file on these super characters mentally matching up profiles to faces. The Rumor next to No.5 the time traveler, SpaceBoy whose body neck down was that of a mountain gorilla due to some sort of space accident, Séance the floating man who communicates with the dead, and The Kraken, a water breathing vigilante, be careful of this one.

The ten year old boy known only as No.5 stepped in front of the motley crew of super powered characters, "This may come as quite a surprise but we are The Umbrella Academy, and we would like a word with you Artemis Fowl II. If you are unwilling my companions here, will be obligated to make you sit down with us." These words set Artemis in motion again, at the base of the steps he calmly replied to the outlandish assembly, "Of course you would," turning towards the lounge he added, "right this way." Séance, floating down the hallway with the others had a thought occur to him. "Aren't you at least a little shocked to find us here?" Normally, he would get a little shock value from peoples' stares but man, you just couldn't faze this kid. Once they had reached the parlor Artemis looked over his shoulder with his vampire smile, "Well this isn't the first time hulking supernatural's have entered my house so, no, it wasn't really all that surprising…"


End file.
